I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
