We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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