JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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