just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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