Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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