dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
