Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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