it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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