Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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