also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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