I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
