I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
