i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
