Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
