smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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