it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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