Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
