Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
