Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
