I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
My balls are so social today.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
