I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
