just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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