Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize
