if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
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