I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
