Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Randomize
