Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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