We got so high we made milksteak
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
