I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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