i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
