we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
