Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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