he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day šš#pensacolaproblems
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Getting a smaller wine glass hasnāt changed the amount I drinkāit just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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