I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
