He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
