Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
