Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
