Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
True college students do jello shots in the library
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
