3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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