My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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