I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
