coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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