You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Randomize
