i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
