He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
