I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
