I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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