Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
