is your mom at the bar?
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
