I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
